I was putting off writing a post like this, as they saturate the internet for the first few weeks of the new year. But 2018 was an eye opener so I figured I’d just go ahead and do one. Sometimes it’s nice to reflect and see how you’ve grown, even if you didn’t think so at the time.
I perceive(d) myself as this fragile individual who’s afraid of the doorbell and ‘unknown numbers’. I doubt my own abilities and almost certainly defined myself with the labels I’ve was given by others. Be that doctors, friends, relatives etc. Let’s be real here, I was a snowflake. But not by the 2018 definition! I can actually take a joke and often roll my eyes at feminazis. I’d say it was more in the sense of being someone who is extremely sensitive to their surroundings and possible triggers. People, places, things. ‘Handle with care’ may have been a suitable brand across the forehead at times.
I Learned A Lot About Myself
Much has happened in 2018 that’s made me re-evaluate my life, and sometimes the people in it. But then at the same time, not much has happened at all. I suppose it’s because of how differently I handle things, compared to how I would have done in the not so distant past. My emotions dominated my life. They would come to the surface and dictate my mood until I was able to bury them again. It wasn’t healthy, but it’s what worked and helped me to cope in a lot of situations I had no real control over. Believe me, there have been times where I have wanted to flip tables and scratch peoples eyes out. BUT, I’m proud to say that I really don’t feel like I’m controlled by my emotions. And that, my friends, is a MASSIVE step forward for me. That has been my god damn Everest.
I haven’t come into 2019 with any high expectations or crazy ambitions. I’m quite happy to lay low and have a nice chill one this year. It’d be nice for my blog to prosper, to get the dream job and lose the weight that hangs on me… if it happens, great. If not, meh. I’m not in a hurry when I’m quite content with the way things are right now. Gratitude was another thing I learned. I’m happy, loved, supported and right now I don’t need anything else. So, for now, I’ll just see where things take me, go with the flow and try not to take things too seriously.
Until next time ♡