It’s the 1st of July (how the fuck did that happened?!) and this year just seems to be roaring past, so I wanted to take this an an opportunity to reflect and see what I’ve learned in the last 6 months. I’ve tried to practice seeing the good in the bad and the beautiful in the ugly and just trying to accept things for what they are. But this is what I’ve put together.
1. Trust your instincts – My instincts are usually right, and that I should follow them at all times. Even when others think it’s a stupid idea. My personal history is a great example of this. Most life changing/big financial decisions have all been knee jerk reactions to a gut instinct that felt right to me. So ultimately, I know what’s best for me and haven’t steered myself too wrong yet.
2. You don’t have to have it all figured out – I always thought that by the time I was 30 I’d know exactly who I am, where I was going, what I was doing and that it would all be rosy. Wrong. I can see now that is absolutely not going to happen and I have got some serious shit to wade through before I get there – but that’s okay! You just have to take each step backwards as a lesson and remember that NO ONE knows what the fuck they’re doing either.
3. It’s okay to put me first – This has been a long standing issue with me. I always seem to put the needs of everyone else before my own, and I usually end up left on the shelf or left standing there like a mug. I realise now that MY needs and MY wants deserve as much attention as I give to everyone else’s. It’s all about self care and awareness.. and when I’m better tended to, then I can better tend to others. It comes full circle.
4. Let it go – I definitely dwell on things more than I realised. Little things can trip me up and it’s amazing how much it can hold you back without you knowing that’s what’s happening. It’s still a lesson in progress – but learning to let go of what and who doesn’t serve me has been difficult; and even though I won’t always see it that way and it can suck arse, I’m better for it now and it’s helped that barrier between me and the rest of the world drop a little more.
5. Everything DOES happen for a reason – This goes hand in hand with #1 and #4 and isn’t really exclusive to this year, but I’ve definitely developed an unwavering faith in “what will be will be”. It’s how I cope with the heavy stuff which people seem to mistake as bravery. It’s not. You just have to know in your heart that the choices you make, the things that happen, and the people you come to know have all been introduced to you for a reason, and there’s something in all of it that you need to take something from. My experiences have taught me to have a greater sense of self worth and how to handle the unpredictable. And Laura doesn’t like unpredictable.
6. Friendship is timeless – It speaks for itself. It is never too late to reach out to people you haven’t seen or heard from in God knows how long, even if you feel like your window of opportunity has closed. It might take a little bit of work to get that spark back and it might feel a little uncomfortable to begin with, but it’s worth it. It doesn’t matter if you’ve know someone a week of 15 years, or what has happened in between, it’s all completely salvageable.. it just requires YOU take that first step.
So that’s me and what I’ve taken from the last 6 months. They’re not really life changing “EUREKA!” lessons and might be completely obvious to others, but they are things that I’ve realised I have learnt to do and accept and it’s taken a long time for me to get there.
Upon reflection I’m glad I wrote this because I have come leaps and bounds from where I was before and I hadn’t realised that. I’m really proud of myself because it shows a huge amount of growth on my part. So I’m giving myself a pat on the back and a gold star for effort! I’ve earned it.