The most common question you’re asked after you get married is, “how’s married life treating you?” or “do you feel any different?”. I’m sure I’m guilty of doing the same thing to friends of mine who have tied the knot. But from the receiving end, I found it a weird thing to ask. So this got me thinking; since I don’t have a profound or fairytale answer for it, was there something wrong with me? If I’m being honest, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve asked myself that question 😅. But I wasn’t sure if I supposed to be on a blissful pink fluffy cloud of happiness or reply instantly with “yes I feel complete!”.
If anything, I was told that many brides get the “wedding blues” once their big day is over. You are consumed by this one event for so long and it takes so much time, planning and energy to put it all together. Once that’s over you end up at a loss on what to do next. But I didn’t get that either.
For me, it was a massive relief. Don’t get me wrong – I had the most incredible day! I genuinely cannot remember the last time I laughed or smiled so much. It was beautiful and my wedding day holds a really special place in my heart, but how the hell people do this more than once I will never know.
If for some freak reason Karne and I were to separate, there is absolutely no way in hell I’d be doing it again!
We all know our circumstances were a little different from the norm. If you don’t, you can catch up here [ CLICK ].
We had to bring the date forward by 4 months pretty urgently and get sh*t done in 6 weeks. Neither of us had a stag or hen do and we weren’t able to go on a honeymoon. I think this is probably why I don’t “feel” different. You usually have a gradual build-up. You have time to do things and organise. The stags/hens let you blow off steam and celebrate your upcoming nuptials. Then you have the honeymoon shortly after to spend time as newlyweds and reset. We didn’t get a lot of those things. So even though it was a magical and incredible day, we went into it without much of a fuss and went straight back into normal life. So my “bride buzz” was over within 24hrs, but knowing me this was probably beneficial and helped curb any anxiety or nerves!
As a kid, I looked at life in stages and milestones. An order in which things should happen…
The first this and that, jobs and careers, move in with significant other, buy a house, get engaged, get married, have kids. It’s like an adult tick list or level up. But as I get older, I realise that you really don’t “feel” different when you do any of these things. “Adult” never really happens.
I forget I’m not the 16yr old I used to be, listening to Korn in my senior school common room. The same idiot who’d climb on top of the vending machine because people bet I couldn’t fit in the gap between it and the ceiling. I could by the way… but I couldn’t get back down without help 😅.
It makes me realise that’s why many of our parents embarrassed the hell out of us when they’d try and be “down with the kids”. They really did feel like they were one. I know I still do! I am exactly the same as I was then despite now having the house, job, car, the ring and the overwhelming responsibilities of adult life.
Because truthfully, being a “Mrs” is exactly the same as it was before. Perhaps I’m so content with my life that all these changes feel natural. I’m still the same person, he’s the same person and my relationship evolves and rolls with the punches without much turbulence. I slept like a log the night before my wedding day, nothing kept me awake. And that says it all to me.
The only real difference is that I have a new signature. It’s been 6 months and the muscle memory in my hand still has me using my old one 🤦.
Oh, and I have a new surname no-one can spell. I was sure I had left that behind with my maiden name, but nope! Still having to spell it out for people. Nevermind!
Until next time ♡